A Genuine Mistake [another short story]

[ImmortalSin]

This one I wrote for my English class as well, although this time we weren't given the freedom to choose our topic. Our theme was 'Migrant Voices' and we also had to make sure that it was a multi-narrative story, with one of the point of views being that of a migrant's.

It took me awhile to write it, if only because I don't particularly like faking things, as in, I know nothing of what it feels like to be a migrant so I'm not sure whether it was/is very believable or not. I got an A for it, but thought I'd post it here for you guys to see.

I thought that as soon as we’d left our homeland behind things would only get better; it was surprising how wrong a person could be. There was nothing out here, nothing but the endless mass of ocean that surrounded us. The waves were so high that we had to scoop water out of our vessel almost constantly to avoid sinking. The waves never tired, but we did. I’d never felt like this before. My limbs were so heavy that I could hardly bear the weight of them, and yet, I had only grown more malnourished since we’d set sail. Everyone wore a pallor of fatigue. Even though we were freezing to death out here this place still felt like hell. Each night I expected to wake in a watery grave and each morning I awoke only to be disappointed. We were still floating, still living – for now.

Time seemed non existent. We did not rest. We did not think. We merely survived. It was all we could do, all we knew to do. Some of us prayed. If there was a higher being would he really let his children suffer like this? I didn’t think so. My faith in God had been depleted many years ago when this war had first started. The only being I could rely on now was myself; and even I wasn’t to be trusted at times.

You see, as the days went by you slowly began to lose yourself. It started when the food ran out. Your stomach grumbled but you couldn’t appease your hunger. You glared at your comrades as though they were to blame for the shortage. Fresh water became scarce and you could barely scrounge a drop anymore. That glare turned into bitter words and those words progressed even further until you found yourself with your hands around someone else’s neck. You were so distraught that you just had to blame something, someone in order to keep yourself sane. Chaos followed, as did several deaths. If they had not spotted us when they did, we would all be nothing but corpses now. Maybe, just maybe we would have been happier that way.

~

It was difficult for us to even begin to comprehend what these people had been through. Bite marks and bruises covered nearly all of them. Those that did not wear either of the two were now deceased. Had they done this to each other?

We’d been told to show no mercy or sympathy. Anyone who resisted was to be punished accordingly. The few remaining people on this ship were destined for a life in a detention centre. They would have been better off in their own damned country. But instead they had tried to burden us with their problems, their war, their sadness, their diseases… I’d given them the benefit of the doubt many times before but seeing this had changed my mind. Animals. They were no better than animals.

They wondered why we looked down on them. But if they could not trust each other, if this was how they chose to live then how on earth could they expect us to help them? Why should we even be helping them now?

My hand had begun to tremble due to the rage that was building within me. I rested my hand on the gun that sat comfortably in my belt and told myself that I had the courage to do it. There was less than a dozen still alive, and my men would never dare betray me. We could tell the others that the ship had sank before we’d reached it. No one but us had to know the truth.

That was when I saw her. Young, black, but somehow familiar. She reminded me of my sister, and the sorrow in her eyes caused me to falter. She did not say a word. I didn’t even know whether she could speak. But it didn’t matter. I understood. My anger was quelled and I inhaled deeply, shutting my eyes for a few moments. Survival was in our blood, and theirs. But luckily, I’d learned from her mistake.

[Guest]

I like it, and I definitely think you managed to fulfill the topic. I like how you managed to make the migrants (though they seem more like refugees to me) feel so desperate, and then the others who 'rescued' them think of it as nothing more than an animalistic nature that their people can't seem to control. It really drove the nail home in the differences between their situations. Definitely deserving of an A, in my opinion

[ImmortalSin]

Hey there Silvone! Thanks loads for the feedback, I appreciate it.

I double checked my task sheet and apparently as long as it had something to do with migrants, refugees and/or arriving in a new country it met the criteria so I think I was aiming for the refugee side of it when I wrote this.

I'm really glad that you like it and that I managed to properly portray the differences between them. Sounds like I did an okay job after all!

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